Checking In With Your Inner Kid: 4 Things We Could Learn From Children About Dealing With Fear

So, I took a trip to Orlando this weekend with my daughter for her cheer competition. We were both super excited, for different reasons of course. We stayed at a beautiful resort so of course my plans were to rest. Even with a bag full of papers to look over and my laptop, resting was most definitely first priority. My daughter had other plans, she was persistent in going to the pool no matter how cool or windy it may have been. I mean I came up with every excuse I could think of…even the truth “No sweetie, you know mommy can’t swim”. It didn’t matter to her, she simply said “I will stay at the steps, I promise”. Well after a long day at competitions and a 1st place title, she won, and we made it to the pool. She stayed at the steps as promised but just to pacify me. At times I found her frustrated with the rail from the pool steps blocking her swimming. She would be venturing away, attempting that swim from one side of 3 ft to the other side and proudly raising her head up out of the water with a smile…”Mommy did you see that”? The last attempt as she lifted her head from under the water, her smile simply screamed “I’m fearless”. Seeing that made me think about how different life would be as an adult if we held on to our childlike fearlessness. You know the one I’m talking about, where there’s no doubt in your mind that you could do anything.

I asked myself, what traits do children have that adults somehow lose that keeps them fearless? I mean children are afraid of or to do very little. Really fellas…think back to that Double Dog dare to jump over the fence with no hands, pop a wheelie on your brand-new bike or being tackled in your first football game. Ladies, what about that dare to leave a note on your crushes desk in the classroom, the ride in your first pair of roller blades, or your first attempt at a cartwheel. We were some fearless kids, ha-ha!!

What happened to us? Somewhere along the way we figured out the pain that followed our failures and allowed fear to rent space. Well guess what? I’ve got some things we can learn from a child about being fearless!!!

1. Our Scars Tell a Story

When children hurt themselves its almost like a honor of distinction, a badge of honor if you will. I mean a kid comes to school with a broken bone, the cast is decorated and everyone they know wants to sign it. They become the star of the class, the SURVIVOR. If they scrape a knee that scar goes on display, everyone wants to see it and they absolutely want to show it off. As we mature, we grow this notion that our scars should be hidden, our wounds become our secrets. There is this idea that revealing those hurts and scars is us seeking pity or being weak. But what children recognize is that scars aren’t signs of weakness, it is a sign of strength and survival. A story that tells everyone look what happened to me and guess what I MADE IT!!

2. Dream Big and Try New Things

I like to believe that one of the greatest traits of a child is the ability to dream big and without limits. In the mind of those tiny beings, there is no doubt that they can be anyone they want to be or achieve anything they put their mind to. The actions of a child says they believe that there is no one against them and that everything is at their grasp. There is no fear of things not being attainable to a child, nothing is too far from their reach. As adults I know we mature, and experiences teach us different about reality but that should not stop us from dreaming big. What experience should do, is teach us that it takes work to achieve those big dreams not that they are impossible. When was the last time you tried something new? Ventured out of your comfort zone? Children aren’t afraid to take part in something they have never tried before. They aren’t concerned about what they look like doing it or even if they are doing a good job at it. This lack of fear and concern allows them to go for their dreams and put their best foot forward. Maturity seems to bring about avoidance of things we don’t know and so umm…, we stay safely in our COMFORT ZONE. I know I am most definitely guilty of this. There are plenty of dreams in my life that I moved slowly on or maybe didn’t move at all on simply because I was afraid and worried about how it would turn out. Trying new things takes energy, energy that sometimes we as adults think we don’t have. Work, children, and just life is already draining…right? But what about the refreshing you get when you have accomplished something great! Yes, it takes energy but… Spoiler Alert: the pay-off is always worth it!

3. There is Nothing Wrong with a Good Cry

As we grow up, we become the best at hide and seek (better at hiding then seeking), becoming the experts in hiding our emotions and venting what may be concerning us. We aren’t sure of what the outcome may be when we openly express our feelings or the reactions of others when we cry, so we just put it under lock in key. Children have the secret, don’t be afraid to let it out. A child will experience pain just like an adult because we are human, the difference is the reaction. Children are always present and aware of their emotions, if he/she falls off a bike and scrapes their knee, they acknowledge that pain but it doesn’t stop them from getting back on and catching up with the rest of the kids. When emotions, thoughts and feelings are held in and not recognized it can cause a roadblock. The secret in not holding it in, if you hurt yourself it is okay to say “ouch”. You are human and humans feel pain, but what happens afterwards is what is important. Take it from a kid, don’t let your hurt stop you from moving forward.

4. Persistence is the Key

When a kid decides that they want something, they will ask for it until they get it. This is true for every kid in the checkout line at the grocery store, at the toy store, at the fast food restaurant, man it true for every kid anywhere PERIOD!! Once they have set their eyes on what they consider all things great, they will not stop asking for it until it is in their hands. As adults, we sometimes forget how to be relentless in our pursuits. We tend to take the first “No” and make that the final answer. If we were to take after a child just a little bit and stayed persistent in the things that we set our minds to and for, success would not seem so far away.

Now eventually my daughter worked herself away from the steps and to the middle of the pool (giving me all kinds of heart attacks and having me to say all kind of prayers) but she successfully swam. Her mission was accomplished, and she did it without any fear. What do you have set in your mind to do at this moment? What dreams have you pushed to the side because it just didn’t seem attainable? When was the last time you expressed an emotion about something that hurt you? What “No” are you determined to make a “Yes”? Tap into your inner kid and STEP OUT THERE!!!